Just less than 3 months ago, we lost our own little baby in miscarriage. It was one of the most unexpected, at times-a little frightening-, yet grace-filled circumstances we have yet encountered. My heart is sorrowful when I think of our baby Jorryn (the one God loves), and the thought of who our child would have been or how God would have used that precious life. Yet I praise Him for the short 12 weeks we had to celebrate a life and soul that we now look forward to meeting in heaven. On this Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, my heart is singing the words of Psalm 139:15-18:
"My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you."
How great is our God?! How mighty is He?!
Big enough to create life.
Wise enough to count the life days just right.
Gentle enough to comfort our hearts and graciously uphold us with peace.
Loving enough to embrace our baby for us.
Kind enough to hold onto us through it.
Near enough to hear our prayers.
Patient enough to see us through when even we may give up.
Strong enough to handle our questions.
Holy enough to use it for His glory.
Worthy enough to accept our worship.
To everyone struggling with loss and heartache tonight, my prayer is that you can find a way to hold on to this magnificent Father one more minute. One more day. One more week. Until what He says about Himself is true. Not just words in a book or someone else's testimony, but in your heart and soul as well. You are loved. You are not alone.