That is a little bit how I feel today. (Except it's a lot cuter).And this morning at 4:45. And whenever I think I've found my niche or the solution to "that" problem only to have it backfire on me, or just the daily that can be hard. Sometimes, SO hard. Today is a day I could just drink all the coffee and all the tea, and all the Coke, eat all the chocolate (Oh, I'm having a little), but I'm also trying to remember that falling on my face before the Lord and crying, "I don't know. I don't know. I don't know," is acceptable to Him and He meets me there. Here.
He does know. He does understand. And part of the hard is not just for the littles that I'm training (also, my personal word for the year ... ), but also for me. To need to KNOW Him. To understand that the strong will inside of me NEEDS Him. Yes, I'm saved. Yes, I know He loves me. Yes, I know He wants whats best for me, in His own definitions. But at 4:45am, I need Him. At my whits end in an angry, disappointed and sad tearful embrace, I need Him. And He wants me to know Him. More.
God's word says, "Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. Blessed is the one who listens to me (wisdom), watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors. For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord, but he who fails to find me injurses himself . . ." (Proverbs 8:33-36 emphasis added).
And what about Psalm 46. All of it is great, of course, but highlighting parts of 8, 10, 11, "Come, behold the works of the Lord . . . Be still, and know that I am God. . . The Lord of hosts is with us . . ."
He wants us to know Him, and He's given us His Word (amazing!), His creation, and His Holy Spirit to help. How much more do we (I) need?!
Do you KNOW Him? Is He comforting to you when the sun is shining AND when you feel lost in the fog? He is real. Knowing Him is real. And when the realities of life are in your face, ask Him to help you remember what you know, and to know Him more. It's kind of like a soul hug. And if you need another one in five minutes, do it again. I'm pretty sure there is no end to an Almighty's ability to show Himself worthy, loving, and personal.
From one real life mama, wife, sister, friend, daughter to you: blessings, hugs and coffee.